athasanana anasanana heyyyeeyyy goodbye

Posted: 12/10/2012 in Uncategorized
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Lots going on in the brain at the moment.

I bought a pear to go with my lunch.  I don’t eat pears very often.

It’s *that* kind of a day.

Strangely, when I buy a pear, I have this urge to smash it instead of eat it. Don’t know why, just do. Yet, I’ve never smashed a pear. It’s the only fruit I feel compelled to kill in quite that way.

The weekend seems like it went by in a blur of important decision making and social observations. Craaaaaazy! And peeps, sometimes I wish I knew what makes my brain work the way it does. I can mull a thing over indefinitely and then like someone threw a switch, snap to a decision in the blink of an eye like I’ve been certain of it all along .  What is it that turns pondering into NOW! decision-making, I just don’t know.

I’m being a bit opaque. Let me clear things up for ya.

Friday was a bad day. BAD. It was spent in a cubicle too – as if that isn’t bad enough. My BEIIIIGEEE cubicle -Grrrr. I strongly dislike beige. Spreadsheets. Red tape. Filibuster-like inefficiency. Beige. Lots of things that frustrate the bejeezus out of me. One of those days that make you ask yourself why in the heck you do what you do because who does it help and does it really help anyone really???? And maybe you stomp around for a few minutes thinking about how just because you’re really good at this analytical stuff doesn’t mean you actually like doing it all day 5-days-a-freakin-week. BAD day. And it was rainy and dark out and I had a long drive over to the East side of town to meet Eric for a yoga class/beer tasting we’d signed up for – “Asanas & Ales”.  All I wanted when I left work was my jammies – or a hatchett.  And yet, there was still more to do in my day. UGH.

Then I got to the yoga studio. 

Eric was waiting, in the rain, outside for me as he’d just pulled up too.  Nice. Then we stepped inside.

All of a sudden I felt SO MUCH BETTER. Not because I was done with work, or done with the long drive. It was a different kind of better. It was the kind of better where home just washes over you even though you’re a 30-minute drive away from it. I’ve always felt more comfortable in a gym than a cube.  And after a long day of cube, here I was in a gym/studio. AAAAAHHHH. Better. Happy. Home.

Wooden floors and open spaces are a kind of soul homecoming for me. The geography of them is irrelevant – gym, yoga studio, my house, a coffee house. Even better if there’s coffee brewing overlaying the smell of sawdust and sweat.

The next part came out of my mouth before my brain realized what I was doing – I asked Yogi Man if he still had the last opening left he’d mentioned in the newsletter. I hadn’t discussed it with Eric at all – or even mentioned it to Yogi Man in a long, long time. But here I was, asking about it. The weird part is that when my brain caught up, it confirmed the whole thing as being the right thing for me to do. I think it said something like ’bout damn time.’

The decision seems like a snap thing on the surface, but if you’d been in the background of it like Eric has, you’d know I’ve been mulling over doing yoga teacher training for YEARS – 5 or so, maybe? Since before my friend owned a yoga studio, so a few years at least.

Am I ever going to teach yoga? Do I have any idea how this is going to fit into bootcamp, and training for a half-marathon in March (or possibly a full marathon in May), and a full-time job? I have no clue. No freaking idea how any of this is going to work out. Beginning in January, every other weekend through June, I’ll be in the yoga studio learning every word that ever ended in ‘ana’, ‘asana’, ‘atha’, ‘athasanana’. I have been promised a discussion of corpse poses, which I am secretly hoping will aid in my zombie apocalypse survival skill set. I’ll be adventuring & bendy.

There will be quotes around this place! Meditational witticisms which I will print in italics! Take off your shoes and bend over! Prepare yourselves!

Somehow, in some way, I can feel the three elements of my training pulling me to combine them and that I need to answer that call even though I have no idea where it will lead. Physically, I’ve never been in a better place to answer joyfully back.

I  know that sometimes when you’re inspired you just have to jump into the muck of the idea and run around screaming – because if you don’t, you’re still going to run around screaming. Just not with any good reason. So that’s what I’m going to do ~ jump into peaceful, reasonable, creative screaming, and see where I land.

Comments
  1. Jene says:

    VERY cool! I’ll be one of your first students 🙂

    Seriously, I think it’s awesome that you’re doing something that you’ve always wanted to do.

  2. Steena says:

    Stay inspired, don’t worry about it, let it all fall into place. Seriously. I swim/bike/run at my own will for the things that I train for, I don’t hyperventilate at following a plan. Yoga will be a fantastic addition to your plans.
    And agree, beige, ugh, no.

thoughts?

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