Gratitude as a lense

Posted: 05/24/2013 in Uncategorized
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Yesterday, I wrote about how there was this big inconvenient thing that has me a bit down and my stomach clenched tight.  Focused inward. Closed-off.

As Eric & I were sitting on the couch watching a movie, I said to him – “tell me everything is going to be okay”.

Eric: About the situation?

Me: About everything. About life. House renovations. Yoga teaching.  Work. The thing. Money. Mowing the yard. All of it.

Eric: Everything really is going to be okay.

I know that that’s something neither of us know for sure, but nevertheless, I needed to hear it said out loud. I think once in awhile ALL OF US need someone to say that out loud to us and sound convincing. Luckily for me, Eric is a pretty sincere guy. I was grateful that in our house, I can tell him exactly what I need to hear and that he will usually say it without reservation.

Then this morning, I walked out of the house and saw a little sage plant I put in last year offering  its very delicate looking hot pink flowers up to the overcast sky as if it had not a single problem. And I thought – wow, I really needed to see that. Something pretty. Beautiful. I don’t know why it struck me that way, but it did.  I was so grateful it was there – and in truth – though it looks delicate and pretty – that sage survived the Winter better than most of my other flowers.  It is deceptively strong. (I wish I’d stopped to take a picture for you.)

In that moment, that single precious moment of gratitude & beauty, I realized I had forgotten that lense. In all the upset of the past few days, I had been grateful for a few specific things – like knowing we have what we need in place to deal – but I had forgotten GRATITUDE AS A GENERAL PERSPECTIVE. I had put that way of thinking down and stepped away as if it were a filter on my camera. I try to go through life being grateful for things – big things, little things – doesn’t matter. Life just feels better to me when I can look at anything and say ‘hey, I’m glad you’re here’ or ‘isn’t that awesome!’. To that little flower – ‘hey, I’m glad you’re here. You’re awesome!’.  To not feel that – as a way of being in the world – has had me out of sorts. Fretful. Dark. An assault to my general nature.

As I waited on carpool, I didn’t want to lose that lifted feeling – so I whipped out my cell – and launched off a quick #5things on twitter to be grateful for. It was important to me to find and list them out right then – put them up in front of me as a sheild and say ‘I don’t care Friday! I am happy and grateful today!’.

So as a counterbalance to all of the things, and to get me back on track with who I prefer to be, I’m spending the day focused on gratitude. It is the best medicine there is to combat things that overwhelm. You can create an entire army of gratitudes to battle the gathering storm clouds if you just pause and look around.

I am so very grateful that –

  • the cafeteria changed over from French Roast to Hazelnut when I went for my second cup of coffee. Hazelnut rocks!
  • the sun came out and there is blue sky waiting on me out there in the big world
  • there is a trail out the back doorstep of my office, and at lunch, I plan to be running it
  • I am healthy and can go trail-running at lunch on a whim
  • Also, I may make time for pushups. Never thought I would be grateful for lots of pushups, but I am.
  • It’s payday. That’s always nice.
  • On the way out the door, the husband told me we had the evening together – no other plans in the way
  • I’m wearing a necklace a dear friend gave me. I have dear friends.
  • Also, I have deer friends I see out on the trail regularly.
  • I have decided on a color for the dining room rug that I think is final. It’s only taken me 5 years.
  • A trip to the plant farm is in my immediate future. There, I will buy more sage.
  • I will get to spend part of the weekend with a spade in my hand and getting filthy – if the weather cooperates.
  • Feeling the urge to get the camera out and go play –  if the weather cooperates.
  • It’s a 3-day weekend. None of those days require an alarm clock.
  • Reds game on Monday.

I could keep going on and on…little things, big things.

Even if sometimes it is complicated, this is my life, and I am most grateful for it.

What are you grateful for today?

Comments
  1. CultFit says:

    I’m totally grateful I read your touching post this morning. 🙂 Not even remotely kidding around! I hope you guys a fantastic weekend, take care!

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