Archive for April, 2014

Friends, I managed to run about a mile last night. How’s about that?  I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it’s a big deal glimmer of light at the end of the injury tunnel. I hope. *fingers crossed*

There were 2 miles in total – an out and back – incline on the out, downhill on the back.  The rest of the group did more than that, but I cut it off for me early since I was just ‘test running’. The first 3/4 mile of incline I managed to do straight and pain-free and if it hadn’t sucked the wind out of my lungs so bad, I probably would’ve started crying from happiness.  It’s been 7 WEEKS since I’ve been able to run at all. That kinda shocked me when I looked at the calendar today. SEVEN. WEEKS. As in 7.  Which is WAY MORE than the 3 or so I kept telling myself it had been. SEVEN. That’s about the gestational period of a kangaroo. In case you were wondering.

On the way back, the knee started to feel a little twingey and weird, so I did run:walk – mostly walk.

About a mile. It’s a starting point. I hope.

The Flying Pig is this weekend – and that was what the running group was all a-chatter about.  Last minute reminders, talk of where people will meet up before the starting line and after the finish line. Who is going to be at the expo when. What are you doing for dinner the night before?  Still finalizing my own plans on that front, though I’m obviously not running it this year. Got me thinking some more about starting lines and finish lines and remembering what it was like the first time I finished a 13.1.  Country Music Half-Mar in Nashville. 2007. I’d trained by myself or walking w/friends on occasion and I was WOEFULLY unprepared & undertrained, had no idea what I’d gotten myself into or what I was doing, didn’t knowing anything about running even though I’d been running – didn’t have a training plan or know about nutrition.  Egads.  I still can’t believe I actually finished the thing, and I remember how teary-eyed I got when I did.

Which then got me thinking about this video again – because one finish line makes you think of another – and this  is quite possibly the best finish line video ever.  Since I have a bunch of peeps that are going to be crossing the finish line themselves this Sunday, thought I’d link it out again – (here’s my first post about it)(which you should also read since it kind of explains the video, which just to be extra clear, is not of me)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKWWtztFU6w

Also, if you don’t watch it all the way through, you’ll miss Wonder Woman finishing Iron Man, which will be a certain loss. (Okay, it’s Rev3 but writing Wonder Woman finishing Rev 3 doesn’t sound as naught. ha.)

Have a great race peeps!  Remember: Start SLOW, you have 13 miles to pick up speed if you want to. BREATHE! Fuck the crowd – let them pass you or chase you, but run YOUR race.  Also, fuck the crowd – you pass them, but don’t you go chasing them either – run YOUR race.  You’re trained. You got this. Chin up and game face on! Go get it! And in case I didn’t mention it – RUN *YOUR* RACE!

I want to hear all about it when you’re done!!! Please link me your recaps in the comments if you got ’em.

Friends, it’s another Yoga Teacher Training weekend – one of the last for this bit of training that I’m doing. Around 20 hours in the studio working on meridian theory, assisted Yin stretching, some Acro Yoga basics and learning all about Yoga Nidra. That’s my weekend schedule, and there isn’t much time for anything beyond that except eating and sleeping.

So, of course, my mind is also wandering to things I won’t be able to do – that are fun though I’m sure all my friends that go do them will be pining away and sighing “Oh, we wish Cynthia were here…” because that’s what y’all do when I’m not around, right? Ha!

First off, there’s this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXOofVB3TW8

which you should absolutely watch.

Cincinnati Ballet is collaborating with local band Over the Rhine for a live concert/dance performance this weekend. This has been towards the top of my ‘must see’ list since the season was announced, but unfortunately my schedule just won’t let it happen. So, you should go in my stead. You’ll only have to chair dance a little to make it believable that I’m there.

Next, there’s this:

04-24-2014 1-24-26 PM

To which I am going and since it’ll be a whole heckuva lot of fun, I think you should come too. Provided you have a vagina. Girl’s only this time. Sorry fellas.

Monday #2010

Posted: 04/21/2014 in Uncategorized
Tags:

Two weeks ago, for whatever bizarre reason, I decided to calculate the number of Mondays I’ve survived. Sometimes I need to put a number on things. Now I can’t not keep counting them.

If each Monday weighed a pound, I’ve survived, literally, a ton of Mondays.

That’s 48,240 hours of Monday.

2,894,400 minutes of Monday.

173,664,000 seconds of Monday. Wait, 173,664,001 seconds…173,664,002 seconds…

Friends, that’ll make ya feel a little old. BUT – it does make one more measly little Monday seem a little easier to get through.

IMG_0853

It’s Easter, and like an Easter morning should be, the sky is blue, the birds are singing and the ground will be dry enough for a muck-free egg hunt later in the morning. I have a couple breakfast casseroles in the fridge. They go in the oven in about 40 minutes before they’ll get carted over to the East side of town – one’s a bacon & egg casserole, the other is an egg & cheese. I’ll make a Greek topping to go on the side of that one. If you like Greek omelets, you’ll LOVE that casserole. I think. I haven’t tried making it that way before, but seriously – how wrong can you go with feta & sun-dried tomatoes dumped on top of anything?

I make the casseroles or the appetizers, sometimes the side dishes. Not the desserts. When I make the desserts, things like this happen:

Screaming Peeps 2

 

Pretty cute, huh? Some little bunny peeps all encircled in an egg-shaped rice krispie treat. A piece of licorice wrapped around the waist with jelly beans to finish off the little bunny-in-a-basket theme.  As someone who sucks at baking, but had been tasked with dessert, I thought these were GENIUS! GENIUS, I tell ya.

Until it occurs to you that the peeps are marshmallow, and marshmallow is the binding agent in rice-krispie treats, and that red licorice wrap looks like blood – and that it’s almost as if the bunny peeps are being melted into the krispie-egg in a bloody medieval Easter massacre.

In case you were wondering, screaming murdered bunny peeps sound kind of like pissed off baby birds once you imagine what they sound like and then you can’t get that out of your head, much less eat the gooey goodness.  But then it’s a rice-krispie treat and that’s one of your favorite things, so you do have to eat just one.

You feel a little guilty about it, but still, you do have to eat one – or two.

Then every Easter, you think the fact that your a peep-bunny murderer while you crave rice-krispie treats.  So you make the casseroles. To keep yourself from murdering more peeps.

Casseroles prevent peep murder. It’s a fact, y’all.

 

Yesterday, after a long day – one of those where you spend the whole day repeating the mantra “It’s Wednesday, not Thursday. Wednesday. NOT Thursday.” – the call came in that Eric had swept our dogs off to the dog park and I should come join them.

Across town.

When I was already yawning.

Except that the sky was blue, and there was still at least an hour to sunset.

The only thing to do in that situation is drive across town. Watching the dogs play never fails to lift me up. Screw the yawning.

I arrived to a muddy mess of whirling wet fur, tongues & tails waggling around. Seriously, how can a pair of ridiculously happy dogs not make you smile? They are chaos on four legs when they play.

Then Eric tells me – “She’s a diver.”  What?

“We were on the bridge, I tossed her stick over. She took a look at it and psssshh! jumped right in.”

“She jumped off the bridge?”

“Right over the edge. All 4 off. Barely even thought about it.”

We’ve been trying to get Jack, our lab to do that exact thing for about 10 years. He has never humored us on the subject.

Friends, I’ve got a dog that dives! How cool is that?! Fearless. Crazy, but fearless, she is.

The Summer quest: Getting a picture of her going off the edge. Going all 4 in. Telling the world that she dares.

 

IMG_4378_edit

Well Friends, Run the Bluegrass is over til next year and after a little break, it’s time to adjust my focus for the Summer on to other endeavors.

In addition to my regular yoga teaching gig, I’ve sent out a few feelers with an idea I have for some other yoga ideas. I have a few more to research and send out. So there’s that. I had a friend reach out to me today about setting up a class at another studio. So there’s that too. And I’m feeling a renewed sense of focus on promoting the yoga business. Figuring out how to make it work.

But to be honest peeps – 2014 has been a MAJOR suckfest so far.

  • My car was totalled and had to be replaced unexpectedly
  • The puppy broke her leg
  • wpid-20140114_132745.jpg
  • Then she had to have her “girl” surgery – which while not unexpected, is unpleasant
  • The knee thing – which could just be an irritated “plica” or it could be a torn meniscus (will xray or MRI if the cortisone shot doesn’t work)
  • And also, as part of the knee thing, my kneecap is now tracking completely wrong
  • Woke up 3 weeks ago with an entrapped nerve in my shoulder that has had me in intense pain. It’s better, but I still can’t feel 3 of my fingers very well.

That’s just the highlights. IT HAS BEEN A VERY. SHITTY. SPRING. with a few good things interspersed – like RTB was a good weekend.

And every good thing has had a backhanded dark side. Like when we picked up the dogs from boarding for RTB (a good thing), both dogs had some funky eye gunk and the puppy had a gash in her leg. Or a friend who doesn’t have a car needed me to drop off some spare yoga mats to her for a class she was hosting. I dropped them off, and my car battery died right in front of her house. Since she doesn’t have a car to jump me, I had to call in help from a sick husband. No good deed goes unpunished. Or at least that’s the way its felt lately. It’s like being pecked to death by ducks.

I’m sick of it. Soul sick of it. Heart sick of it. Mind sick of it. SICK. I’m sick of being injured and not being able to do the things I like to do. I’m sick of feeling like I’ve got a dark cloud over my head. Today I woke up feeling sick of feeling sick of it. The Universe has been using me as a punching bag lately, and I was trying to roll with it, but not so much anymore. Sometimes when you keep getting punched – you need to hit back.

YOU PUNCH THE FUCKING UNIVERSE IN THE THROAT. 

You get your head back in the game and you say out loud ‘ENOUGH’.  I AM GOING TO GET HEALTHY. I am going to figure out this knee thing and get my ass to putting in the miles again. I am going to heal this shoulder. I am going to make progress on the yoga business in the direction I want it to go. I am going to start getting some photos together and try to work up a show. The setbacks are going to stop and the ducks are going to find another target.

A few days ago, I started repeating to myself “I am not a fragile creature.” In any given day, I am a force of nature, but I feel like I forgot that for a moment. No more. I am NOT a fragile creature. Where the mind leads, action follows.

Then I started with sending out into the world requests for more yoga work – the kind of work I want, on my terms. I have a plan.

A few little things to mail I’ve been procrastinating on – I knocked that shit out and got it in the mail. Procrastination is bad mojo. It’s like sending the universe a postcard that you don’t really want what you say you want.  No more of that.

Then I went to the kickboxing gym again. I haven’t been there in months and having a bum knee & shoulder makes that a questionable idea at best. But as I said to my favorite trainer there, “when you feel broken, you go back to the last place you felt really strong and you start over“.  I haven’t felt really strong since I haven’t been kickboxing or lifting at that gym the way I need to. At the boxing studio, I feel strong.  And ya know what? It went better than I expected. I finished with 300 straight punches that I didn’t even know I had in me when I walked in the door.  Ya know what else, my knee didn’t bother me ( & with all the pivoting in kickboxing, it should) and my shoulder feels a little better already.

Attitude is important.  My attitude has been gradually falling away from positive and I could feel it. But today, I dialed it right on up to 100% BADASS and the Universe WILL pay attention. I AM NOT A FRAGILE CREATURE.

Subtitle: The View from the Sidelines

IMG_4403_edit

 

Run the Bluegrass weekend is over.

I’m back at home, with a cup of coffee and buried in photos to go through. My suitcase still isn’t unpacked, there is laundry that needs doing, and the dogs are acting a little squirrelly after 4-days at boarding.  *sigh*

This one is hard. The weekend was AMAZING. But also hard.

It’s hard to watch most of your running buddies cross a start line that you can’t cross. It’s hard to pick up your bib and know you’re not pinning it on. It’s hard to answer ‘you’re not running?’ a few dozen times wishing your answer was different. Nope. I’m not running. I think my heart actually groaned out loud when I saw everyone I know getting finisher medals – knowing mine was supposed to be one of the really big ones – and I wasn’t going to have one. Friends, those medals are GORGEOUS! I may be regretting not getting one of those for awhile. As I was hiking up and down the front slopes of Keeneland with my camera, my knee confirmed I made the right decision not to run. Pain and the specter of making the injury worse made that decision easy – I can’t tell people to respect their bodies in my classes if I won’t walk that same walk. It was a GREAT weekend, but still hard.

IMG_4424_resize

It’s hard to be in the bleachers when your heart is on the field, in the game.

Or that’s the pity party on my mental sidelines that I was throwing for myself before I learned a little bit about what HARD really means.

Rachel was the first person I saw when I arrived at the expo on Thursday. Not as in, the first person I knew that I saw, but  THE. FIRST. PERSON. She was tucked into a table right inside the door, an earpiece for expo communications in one ear and a bluetooth in the other. At 3pm, she was still grabbing bites of lunch between tasks – a last minute parking change, and ironing out even more last minute changes in the farm tours – but she still made time to smile at me, give me a hug and chat for a moment. Rachel was also the last person I saw on Sunday morning. Despite being exhausted – and probably having been awake for 4 days straight – she still made time to come to my 9am yoga class – to be there to support me.

After my second class, she was out in the hotel lobby, saying goodbye to some runners leaving just past checkout time.  As we’re walking out to the cars, it’s hard to imagine that I didn’t know her at all before my random suggestion to offer yoga at the run via twitter last Summer. It seems like I’ve known her forever. You know what’s hard? – still caring about a friend’s yoga class after days of exhausting effort, on the first morning that you might get to sleep in a little.

Marr (Eric) was right on her heels on Thursday. I saw him first about 10 minutes after I got to the expo, and then I saw him again and again and again. With the exception of the 8am Keeneland tour, I swear he appeared at every single event – tour – dinner that I was at, making sure the details were right and people were having a good time. The Keeneland tour – he probably only missed because he was busy setting up buses for the Distillery & Farm tours. The cold and sideways rain could not have been any more miserable on race morning, but as my own Eric pointed out, “I think [Marr] high-fived every single runner as they came up on the finish line!”.

IMG_4816_edit

Marr was the last person I saw at the close of the post-race party at the hotel – he had no voice left at all from cheering people on but was still inviting everyone to his room since the hotel shut the party down early. You know what’s hard? – taking care of everyone. Really – Everyone. Still giving as much of a damn on day 4 as you do on day 1.  That’s hard.

When I said last year that this race was personal, I felt that through the media and the tours and the run. When I tell you this year that this race is intensely personal, it’s from watching on the sidelines how much of themselves that Marr & Rachel invest in this race. If it feels personal to me, it’s because they’ve made it PERSONAL to them. Of course there are the Ambassador friends I’ve made, the  300 volunteers and coordinators and expo vendors – and to them/us, it’s important too – but the heart, the soul of it – the personal of it – comes shining through Eric Marr & Rachel Crabtree. They both make HARD look so damn easy.

My own hard got drowned out in the Keeneland Behind-the-Scenes Tour, mainly by the gravy on the biscuits in the Track Kitchen (That was some good breakfast!), and the bourbon balls on the way to tour Buffalo Trace Distillery and Lane’s End Farm.  I couldn’t hear my self pity over the fun I was having meeting another couple from Iowa at the Farm-to-Table Dinner hosted by Wild Thyme on Friday night – the husband telling me that all the social media made him feel like he & Marr are good friends. I know that feeling! I think they may have talked us into doing a run in “Quad cities”. (Need to Google that.)

While my eyes teared up for a minute watching the last corral pull out, I can not replace the experience of volunteering at putting medals on runners necks until my fingers were too cold to move. Doing that with Laura, a fellow ambassador who designed the medal. Seeing her eyes tear up as she got to put *her* medal around the neck of the first finishers. Or my getting to put the medal around Nash’s neck. Or getting some of the volunteers to sing Happy Birthday to Maine as I put her medal around her neck and give her a big hug. Despite the cold and the wet, I can’t hear my own hard over the race stories of my friends who braved that awful weather to cross the finish line and who are already talking about registering for 2015. Yes, my knee was hurting as I was dancing at the after-party, but sometimes when there’s good music and your friends are shaking it on the floor, you just have to dance anyway. Making that couple from Iowa get up there with you.

Laura (left) & I getting in our bicep curls.

Laura (left) & I getting in our bicep curls.

Then there was my yoga class. That – not so hard. Deliberately not hard. Easy to smile at the yogis who got up early to spend an hour on the mat – honored that I got to lead them. Ecstatic to have 2 classes of them! Seeing my suggestion come into being. I will never forget hearing the laughter of our group as we shouted ‘PEACE OUT LEXINGTON!’ to close our practice instead of ‘Namaste’.

When you’re having a really good time at a run that you didn’t even get to run, it’s hard to wallow. Especially once you know what hard really looks like.

PEACE OUT LEXINGTON!