What’s up next? A giant throat punch to the Universe.

Posted: 04/15/2014 in Fred Files, Photos, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

 

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Well Friends, Run the Bluegrass is over til next year and after a little break, it’s time to adjust my focus for the Summer on to other endeavors.

In addition to my regular yoga teaching gig, I’ve sent out a few feelers with an idea I have for some other yoga ideas. I have a few more to research and send out. So there’s that. I had a friend reach out to me today about setting up a class at another studio. So there’s that too. And I’m feeling a renewed sense of focus on promoting the yoga business. Figuring out how to make it work.

But to be honest peeps – 2014 has been a MAJOR suckfest so far.

  • My car was totalled and had to be replaced unexpectedly
  • The puppy broke her leg
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  • Then she had to have her “girl” surgery – which while not unexpected, is unpleasant
  • The knee thing – which could just be an irritated “plica” or it could be a torn meniscus (will xray or MRI if the cortisone shot doesn’t work)
  • And also, as part of the knee thing, my kneecap is now tracking completely wrong
  • Woke up 3 weeks ago with an entrapped nerve in my shoulder that has had me in intense pain. It’s better, but I still can’t feel 3 of my fingers very well.

That’s just the highlights. IT HAS BEEN A VERY. SHITTY. SPRING. with a few good things interspersed – like RTB was a good weekend.

And every good thing has had a backhanded dark side. Like when we picked up the dogs from boarding for RTB (a good thing), both dogs had some funky eye gunk and the puppy had a gash in her leg. Or a friend who doesn’t have a car needed me to drop off some spare yoga mats to her for a class she was hosting. I dropped them off, and my car battery died right in front of her house. Since she doesn’t have a car to jump me, I had to call in help from a sick husband. No good deed goes unpunished. Or at least that’s the way its felt lately. It’s like being pecked to death by ducks.

I’m sick of it. Soul sick of it. Heart sick of it. Mind sick of it. SICK. I’m sick of being injured and not being able to do the things I like to do. I’m sick of feeling like I’ve got a dark cloud over my head. Today I woke up feeling sick of feeling sick of it. The Universe has been using me as a punching bag lately, and I was trying to roll with it, but not so much anymore. Sometimes when you keep getting punched – you need to hit back.

YOU PUNCH THE FUCKING UNIVERSE IN THE THROAT. 

You get your head back in the game and you say out loud ‘ENOUGH’.  I AM GOING TO GET HEALTHY. I am going to figure out this knee thing and get my ass to putting in the miles again. I am going to heal this shoulder. I am going to make progress on the yoga business in the direction I want it to go. I am going to start getting some photos together and try to work up a show. The setbacks are going to stop and the ducks are going to find another target.

A few days ago, I started repeating to myself “I am not a fragile creature.” In any given day, I am a force of nature, but I feel like I forgot that for a moment. No more. I am NOT a fragile creature. Where the mind leads, action follows.

Then I started with sending out into the world requests for more yoga work – the kind of work I want, on my terms. I have a plan.

A few little things to mail I’ve been procrastinating on – I knocked that shit out and got it in the mail. Procrastination is bad mojo. It’s like sending the universe a postcard that you don’t really want what you say you want.  No more of that.

Then I went to the kickboxing gym again. I haven’t been there in months and having a bum knee & shoulder makes that a questionable idea at best. But as I said to my favorite trainer there, “when you feel broken, you go back to the last place you felt really strong and you start over“.  I haven’t felt really strong since I haven’t been kickboxing or lifting at that gym the way I need to. At the boxing studio, I feel strong.  And ya know what? It went better than I expected. I finished with 300 straight punches that I didn’t even know I had in me when I walked in the door.  Ya know what else, my knee didn’t bother me ( & with all the pivoting in kickboxing, it should) and my shoulder feels a little better already.

Attitude is important.  My attitude has been gradually falling away from positive and I could feel it. But today, I dialed it right on up to 100% BADASS and the Universe WILL pay attention. I AM NOT A FRAGILE CREATURE.

thoughts?

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